Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Blame Jake

The Things You Learn Watching Morning TV

You Can Have Putin's Pecs - See them, envy them, lust them and LEARN HIS SECRETS.

Needing exercise that makes your hair breezy?  You gotta try the Air Climber.

What was I talking about ? Yes, the Air Climber.
It's made of special fiberglass filled resin that is extremely strong and durable and lightweight, like you're gonna be.
Air- as in Air, that soft, gentle stuff that is light, breezy, and clean like Joe Biden.  Air will make you float and it's many hydraulic properties will lift you until you have so much fun that the pounds just melt away.  With the Air Climber, You'll lose more inches than John Bobbitt.

Vlad Putin doesn't train on the Air Climber.  He might consider the Tower 200.
You got a door - You got a Gym.

Do the Eleven Minute Mother Of All Workouts and be fit like Randy Couture.
No assembly necessary but you'll need Norm Abram to re-swing the door.
Al Gore invented the internet and Jake Steinfeld is responsible for creating the personal fitness training industry over 30 years ago. 

If none of this works, you've always got a safety - Kymaro Curve Control Jeans.

Women's clothing sizes must be a joke - on the women.  Only a few days ago I saw a television advertisement in which a young woman claimed that she used a diet product and went from a size 12 to a size 4 in four weeks.  Why didn't she just diet for 8 weeks and become the stick sized waif she wants to be ?

Street Car Named Desire 
Subliminal Advertising

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